Monday, July 4, 2011

FREEDOM!

Freedom probably seems like a strange topic for someone like me to write about but on the Fourth of July it is something that is on a lot of people's minds. Even though I'm wheelchair bound, on disability, unable to drive, and live with my parents, I feel strangely free lately. After so many years of struggling with work both physically and to make a decent living, it is a relief to be on disability and just be able to stop, reflect on my life, relax, and take a breath. Even though I loved my last job teaching at Augusta State University, it paid a paltry salary...no where near close enough to make a living. So, I had to work two jobs and still didn't make enough money. For someone with progressing multiple sclerosis, this was beyond exhausting and frustrating. So, yes disability is a relief and it pays better than ASU. Also, after many months of bad falls and sprained ankles, it finally became all too clear that I needed a wheelchair, which was very liberating once I accepted it. Additionally, as tough as it is to live with my parents at 41, I honestly don't know what I would do without them.


So when you put all of these things together, it oddly means freedom for me. "Survival mode" is over (at least for now). I think I'll celebrate my Freedom today. Here's hoping you celebrate yours.
Happy Fourth of July!

1 comment:

  1. OK,
    I'm not a zen teacher but what you have said here seems to relate to taking a stance of equanimity...no grasping...no aversion...accepting what is. And yes there is freedom in that and it is also a place where we are able to respond instead of react.

    Bows,
    Alan

    ReplyDelete